A Train between Broadway-Nassau and Canal Street

Two middle-aged ladies–one Eileen Fisher, one Ann Taylor–headed home on the crowded train.  Work friends.

Eileen Fisher Lady: It’s allowed to sleep at the opera.

Ann Taylor Lady: Oh, really?

Eileen Fisher Lady: Of course.

Ann Taylor Lady: You sleep at the opera?

Eileen Fisher Lady: Not always.  Not so much anymore but I used to do it invariably.  During one performance of Fidelio when I was in high school I had the greatest nap of my adolescence.

Ann Taylor Lady: Really.  I feel bad about it, I guess.

Eileen Fisher Lady: Oh no, you can’t feel bad.  Sometimes it’s just too much.

Ann Taylor Lady: One time I fell asleep in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, but the problem was we were right in the first row, right on top of the actors.  I felt so bad.

Eileen Fisher Lady: My mother always sleeps at the theater.  Well, my mother can sleep anywhere.

Ann Taylor Lady: My mother, too!  She sleeps everywhere.  She slept through The Passion of the Christ.

Eileen Fisher Lady: The Mel Gibson movie?  Good for her.  Good for her.

Ann Taylor Lady: And snored.

Eileen Fisher Lady: Terrible movie.  Terrible movie.  I didn’t see it.

Ann Taylor Lady: The past ten years she’s developed this weird snore with a gurgle sound and a sort of chicken noise in it.  My nickname for her is gurgle chicken.  But she won’t admit it.  She’ll fall asleep on the phone with you and if you tell her she did she’ll yell at you.

Eileen Fisher Lady: The thing my mother does that’s annoying–one of the things she does that’s annoying–is she’ll come to visit me and she’ll want to stay up and watch things on David Letterman.  Now I used to watch David Letterman, I used to be a normal person, but now when I watch it I just feel like I’m on fire.  I hate it.

Ann Taylor Lady: It is awful.

Eileen Fisher Lady: It’s the most awful thing on television!  Ugh, the audience laughter, and those jokes?  And that Paul Schaffer?  I mean, I’ve always hated him but now if I met him I’d kill him with my bare hands.  I hate him that much.

Published in: on May 8, 2010 at 1:40 pm  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. The eavedroppings are absolutely hilarious !

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