Gate 4, Terminal 7, JFK

5:15 a.m., Christmas Eve.  Two twentysomething white girls in ponytails, pea coats, and Uggs clutching Starbucks.  Girl 1’s final destination: Phoenix; girl 2’s final destination: Boulder.

Girl 1: The last time I was here I was like going to L.A. and there was this guy in front of me in the line with like all these bags, all these like gold Louis Vuitton bags, like the soft luggage?

Girl 2: A guy with gold bags?

Girl 1: (confidentially) Like, a black guy?

Girl 2: Oh.

Girl 1: And the lady at security was starting all this shit with him, she said to him, “You need to smile more, why don’t you smile more?” And this guy from security came over and like leaned in and said something to her, we were all like what’s he saying, someone was like, “He’s saying it’s a famous rapper”–it was Kanye West.

Girl 2: No way.

Girl 1: Like, you do not tell Kanye to smile more.

Girl 2: Um, no.

Girl 1: I mean the lady said it to him like three times, “You should smile more, you need to smile more.”  Even if you’re not a rapper it’s like, get out of my biz.

Girl 2: Seriously.

Girl 1: Then we went through the line and I felt like I had to say something, I was like, this is my chance to say something to Kanye, while we were putting our shoes back on I said, “This is the fun part, putting your clothes back on.”  He was like, “Ha ha, yeah.”

Girl 2: Oh that’s the worst.  Well nothing’s worse than when we were in Hawaii and we hit Rosie O’Donnell with our umbrella.

Girl 1: On purpose?

Girl 2: No the trade winds like picked it up and smacked her with it.  My dad didn’t know who she was, he was like, “I hope you have good insurance.”

Girl 1: As much as that lady starts shit with people and mouths off she better have good insurance.

Girl 2: I guess I don’t mind if people have strong opinions, but people have to know when to shut up.

Girl 1: And she never does.

Girl 2: Yeah.  I guess it takes all kinds to make the world go round.

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Published in: on December 24, 2008 at 6:16 pm  Leave a Comment  

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